Text from my sweetie: "I'm going to ruin the surprise by saying this but you need to answer your phone... the delivery people have been trying to reach you for an hour!"
Me, calling Help Desk back: "I need to cancel a ticket..."
Monday, October 29, 2018
Surprise!
Text from my sweetie: "I'm going to ruin the surprise by saying this but you need to answer your phone... the delivery people have been trying to reach you for an hour!"
Me, calling Help Desk back: "I need to cancel a ticket..."
Thursday, October 18, 2018
Thursday, October 11, 2018
All the fails of today
I have 20 minutes left in my staycation and it's looking even more bleak that I'll accomplish the following crucial tasks:
- Launder everything
- Get in shape
- Vacuum
- Write memoir
- Nap
- Establish meditation routine
- Touch up roots
- Finish signs for craft booth
- Decide on business plan/purpose
- Write will
- Ready packages for post office
- Redo personal website in Drupal
- Learn Drupal
- Go foodshopping
- Touch up rust spots on car
- Finish indignant blog post about restaurant visit fail
- Get packages ready for post office
However, I have organized the bookshelves and watered the plants so yay?
About the restaurant visit fail:
I neglected to implement any of my standard protocols for saving time by ordering ahead and instead waltzed into a place right at lunch hour. FAIL! Duh! Hubby and I swung open the door, saw the line, whirled and exited immediately.
 |
| (This makes a fine teeshirt.) |
I suggested we sneak into the place next door instead. The dining room was busy but I felt confident we could get take-out pretty fast. I worked in the restaurant industry in a previous life and a little-known fact is dine-in food can take the same amount of time as "faster food" restaurants like Panera. I was sure we'd have a nice bag of food ready to go in the same period of time we'd still be waiting in that other awful line.
The first fail was giving our order to Slackjaw #1 and trusting that the order was indeed taken.
I watched him scrawl the order out slowly wondering why he wrote the same exact thing twice but figured he had his system and we left to run another errand.
We got back when they said it'd be ready but it wasn't out yet. "Just a few more minutes," drawled Slackjaw 2.
A few minutes crawled into 10 minutes, 15, 20, 25 and 30 minutes. I kept asking and Slackjaws 1 & 2 both got slacker, kicking the floor and mumbling "just a few more minutes."
At one point I asked, "Can you go check? It's been a while."
"A few more minutes," he said.
I wanted to say, "You never went in the back to check, how do you KNOW it's only a few more minutes? You've been saying that for a half hour!"
But I was trying not to cause trouble. Yet.
After a half hour inched to 35 minutes, something in me snapped.
"Can you please explain what's happening? It's been 50 minutes now and I don't understand what's going on."
Slackjaw 2's eyes widened. He shrugged.
I thought maybe he didn't hear me and thought I was complaining about 15 minutes.
"It's been 50 minutes. Five zero."
He stared blankly, a deer in headlights.
"You've said it will be a few more minutes every few minutes for the past half hour. Isn't there something you can do? Or find out?"
He looked terrified.
I tried again, gently but firmly, the way I would have if I'd been training him. "I used to work at this chain. I know the kitchen times aren't that long. Seeing that it's been taking this long is a customer service opportunity. You shouldn't wait for me to come ask. Go find out what's happening or get the manager."
He seemed paralyzed. Slackjaw #1 saw this from several feet away and came over.
"Um, I guess I could ask the manager?"
YES please go get the manager, I thought. It's been almost an hour, a manager should have been called a half hour ago. What is wrong with you??
I nodded. "Yes, that would be good." (GO! Sheesh! Don't they train you folks??)
We waited almost 10 more minutes to see a manager and I turned to leave. "Forget this, forget the food, I'm never coming back." I went into the foyer and took a picture of the customer service line. "I'm calling this as soon as we get home."
The manager suddenly appeared. I was full-blown indignant but she apologized profusely, diffusing my rage. "We're going to comp this so it's 100% free. I'm so sorry. This should have taken 12 minutes to make, you shouldn't have waited this long."
"Thank you!! This has been terribly inconvenient," I said, drawing out how long we suffered, foodless and weak. Even though I was wearing the below, I drew upon bold NJ roots. What if I was an attorney needing to get back to my important office? How dare they!
I graciously accepted the free order and we sauntered back to the car, dignity restored by the justice bequeathed to us by the sympathetic supervisor.
In the car, hubby noticed me looking funny at the bag on my lap.
"Wait!! I saw them write this when they took our order. I could tell they didn't hear my name. Rhymes with 'Mitch' I guess? They didn't write this when we complained!"
Good thing because...!!!
The first fail was giving our order to Slackjaw #1 and trusting that the order was indeed taken.
I watched him scrawl the order out slowly wondering why he wrote the same exact thing twice but figured he had his system and we left to run another errand.
We got back when they said it'd be ready but it wasn't out yet. "Just a few more minutes," drawled Slackjaw 2.
A few minutes crawled into 10 minutes, 15, 20, 25 and 30 minutes. I kept asking and Slackjaws 1 & 2 both got slacker, kicking the floor and mumbling "just a few more minutes."
At one point I asked, "Can you go check? It's been a while."
"A few more minutes," he said.
I wanted to say, "You never went in the back to check, how do you KNOW it's only a few more minutes? You've been saying that for a half hour!"
But I was trying not to cause trouble. Yet.
After a half hour inched to 35 minutes, something in me snapped.
"Can you please explain what's happening? It's been 50 minutes now and I don't understand what's going on."
Slackjaw 2's eyes widened. He shrugged.
I thought maybe he didn't hear me and thought I was complaining about 15 minutes.
"It's been 50 minutes. Five zero."
He stared blankly, a deer in headlights.
"You've said it will be a few more minutes every few minutes for the past half hour. Isn't there something you can do? Or find out?"
He looked terrified.
I tried again, gently but firmly, the way I would have if I'd been training him. "I used to work at this chain. I know the kitchen times aren't that long. Seeing that it's been taking this long is a customer service opportunity. You shouldn't wait for me to come ask. Go find out what's happening or get the manager."
He seemed paralyzed. Slackjaw #1 saw this from several feet away and came over.
"Um, I guess I could ask the manager?"
YES please go get the manager, I thought. It's been almost an hour, a manager should have been called a half hour ago. What is wrong with you??
I nodded. "Yes, that would be good." (GO! Sheesh! Don't they train you folks??)
We waited almost 10 more minutes to see a manager and I turned to leave. "Forget this, forget the food, I'm never coming back." I went into the foyer and took a picture of the customer service line. "I'm calling this as soon as we get home."
The manager suddenly appeared. I was full-blown indignant but she apologized profusely, diffusing my rage. "We're going to comp this so it's 100% free. I'm so sorry. This should have taken 12 minutes to make, you shouldn't have waited this long."
"Thank you!! This has been terribly inconvenient," I said, drawing out how long we suffered, foodless and weak. Even though I was wearing the below, I drew upon bold NJ roots. What if I was an attorney needing to get back to my important office? How dare they!
 |
| "Can't you see I'm late for my high-powered job??" |
I graciously accepted the free order and we sauntered back to the car, dignity restored by the justice bequeathed to us by the sympathetic supervisor.
In the car, hubby noticed me looking funny at the bag on my lap.
"Wait!! I saw them write this when they took our order. I could tell they didn't hear my name. Rhymes with 'Mitch' I guess? They didn't write this when we complained!"
 |
| Wow. But it does rhyme with "Mitch" so.... |
Friday, October 5, 2018
I don't understand art
I really don't understand some art. I saw this at the International Fine Print Dealer's Association's annual fair in NYC: 4 canvases pieced together suggestive of how you'd display the set in your home. Even IF I somehow decided this was... notable (? I'm not really sure how to describe it) enough to display in my home, why pay for it? Why not just DRAW it?
If lines aren't your thing, well:
Or maybe you want something that combines both lines and circles, approaching portraiture:
Or maybe we do away with conventional attempts to form shapes and regress to "Two Year Old With Pen" or "Me Drawing With My Toes":
I realize that art by famous artists is going to fetch a hefty sum but I'm still mystified!!
If lines aren't your thing, well:
 |
| Only $9,500! |
Or maybe you want something that combines both lines and circles, approaching portraiture:
 |
| $14,000. I'm serious. |
Or maybe we do away with conventional attempts to form shapes and regress to "Two Year Old With Pen" or "Me Drawing With My Toes":
 |
| $20,000! Put your toes (or two-year-olds) to good use! |
I realize that art by famous artists is going to fetch a hefty sum but I'm still mystified!!
Monday, October 1, 2018
Lessons on teeth
I once went to the dentist for a tooth that hurt whenever I bit down. I thought maybe I had a cavity but it turns out my upper teeth are super sharp, like shark teeth, and they were wearing down my lower teeth. The dentist said she could fix this by smoothing the jagged edges of my top molars.
"Smoothing," she said, "can be done without anesthesia."
Note: Whenever someone enters your mouth with a drill, you should not be able to feel anything on that side of your face.
She tried to reassure me that she would be gentle and that she was working very "conservatively." Then she pressed the drill lightly against the first tooth and I almost flew out of the chair.
Mercifully, she noticed and immediately stopped.
"Mmm, ok. We'll use a little anesthetic to dull the sensation," she said.
Note: dental pain should not be "dulled." It needs to be "slain."
She reentered my mouth with the drill but the anesthetic hadn't kicked in yet.
Note: If you can move your tongue, you're not numb enough. Your face has to be, as a famous comedian has said, sliding off your skull.
"Hmmm," she said, "maybe we need some more anesthetic."
Note: If they have NOT numbed the area sufficiently, I don't care if they only intend to "gently smooth" your teeth. Teeth are as hard as diamonds and filing involves a drill.
She went in again and another lightning bolt of pain seered down my spine, threatening to separate my spinal column in two. I reflexively chomped down. She then realized things needed to be completely numb before doing ANY MORE work.
She injected a full dose of anesthetic this time and waited for it to "take" instead of forging ahead.
I read two 2 full magazines and then my face fell off my skull and I was happily pain-free for the rest of the procedure. Yay! But it took until midnight that I could speak like I wasn't brain-damaged.
Painless dentistry is awesome. I will let my teeth fall out of my head before I ever subject myself to drilling without anesthetic again!
Here are more teeth tips!
Keeping your teeth in top shape:
1: Get (and maintain!) sealants. They minimize wear and cavities. Get them even if insurance doesn't cover it -- they're not that expensive and will make your teeth last longer.
2: Use a flouride rinse. Flouride rinses are the only thing that actually help your teeth remineralize and can actually repair small cavities. Don't eat for 30 minutes after gargling.
3: Floss. Every day. A woven floss is better than waxed or teflon floss -- it's more pliable and cleans more completely.
4: Do not chew ice. You may be able to see cracks in your teeth, hairline fractures from years of abuse with a flashlight. This is depressing but not necessarily a problem, just don't keep pushing your luck. Don't chew on hard objects like ice, pens or pencils, hard candy, clothing tags, your nails, or anything brittle. My dentist said that's the number one reason people crack teeth. (Same goes for animals too -- it's not a great idea to let them chew on ice.)
5: If you clench your jaw or grind your teeth at night, get a mouth guard.
6: Use an electric toothbrush. It's not just hype. After this incident, I went a YEAR without setting foot in the dentist's office because I was too traumatized to even think of getting back in that chair. When I finally made myself go, I thought my teeth would be in terrible shape but they said it looked like I'd just had a cleaning. Don't brush too hard because that'll make your gums recede. It takes very little force to get plaque off. Be gentle on your teeth and they'll be good to you for years to come!
6. Ask for a "cervical collar" lead apron at the dentist next time you get an x-ray. X-ray exposure to tissue is cumulative so it's good to have this special apron to protect your thyroid.
I hope this helps your teeth live long and may you never need your teeth "smoothed"!
"Smoothing," she said, "can be done without anesthesia."
Note: Whenever someone enters your mouth with a drill, you should not be able to feel anything on that side of your face.
She tried to reassure me that she would be gentle and that she was working very "conservatively." Then she pressed the drill lightly against the first tooth and I almost flew out of the chair.
Mercifully, she noticed and immediately stopped.
"Mmm, ok. We'll use a little anesthetic to dull the sensation," she said.
Note: dental pain should not be "dulled." It needs to be "slain."
She reentered my mouth with the drill but the anesthetic hadn't kicked in yet.
Note: If you can move your tongue, you're not numb enough. Your face has to be, as a famous comedian has said, sliding off your skull.
"Hmmm," she said, "maybe we need some more anesthetic."
Note: If they have NOT numbed the area sufficiently, I don't care if they only intend to "gently smooth" your teeth. Teeth are as hard as diamonds and filing involves a drill.
She went in again and another lightning bolt of pain seered down my spine, threatening to separate my spinal column in two. I reflexively chomped down. She then realized things needed to be completely numb before doing ANY MORE work.
She injected a full dose of anesthetic this time and waited for it to "take" instead of forging ahead.
I read two 2 full magazines and then my face fell off my skull and I was happily pain-free for the rest of the procedure. Yay! But it took until midnight that I could speak like I wasn't brain-damaged.
Painless dentistry is awesome. I will let my teeth fall out of my head before I ever subject myself to drilling without anesthetic again!
Here are more teeth tips!
Keeping your teeth in top shape:
1: Get (and maintain!) sealants. They minimize wear and cavities. Get them even if insurance doesn't cover it -- they're not that expensive and will make your teeth last longer.
2: Use a flouride rinse. Flouride rinses are the only thing that actually help your teeth remineralize and can actually repair small cavities. Don't eat for 30 minutes after gargling.
3: Floss. Every day. A woven floss is better than waxed or teflon floss -- it's more pliable and cleans more completely.
4: Do not chew ice. You may be able to see cracks in your teeth, hairline fractures from years of abuse with a flashlight. This is depressing but not necessarily a problem, just don't keep pushing your luck. Don't chew on hard objects like ice, pens or pencils, hard candy, clothing tags, your nails, or anything brittle. My dentist said that's the number one reason people crack teeth. (Same goes for animals too -- it's not a great idea to let them chew on ice.)
5: If you clench your jaw or grind your teeth at night, get a mouth guard.
6: Use an electric toothbrush. It's not just hype. After this incident, I went a YEAR without setting foot in the dentist's office because I was too traumatized to even think of getting back in that chair. When I finally made myself go, I thought my teeth would be in terrible shape but they said it looked like I'd just had a cleaning. Don't brush too hard because that'll make your gums recede. It takes very little force to get plaque off. Be gentle on your teeth and they'll be good to you for years to come!
6. Ask for a "cervical collar" lead apron at the dentist next time you get an x-ray. X-ray exposure to tissue is cumulative so it's good to have this special apron to protect your thyroid.
I hope this helps your teeth live long and may you never need your teeth "smoothed"!
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