Monday, November 30, 2015


1. I just got home and discovered my computer has been shutting down for the last 10 hours. I realize Windows is slow but seriously? It needs 10 hours to shut down now?

2. Unprompted, someone told me I look fat in these pants so I am cutting them into tiny ribbons, lighting them on fire and throwing them off my balcony right now.

3. The lunch lady sweetly informed me she had the flu as she heaped a pile of veggies onto my plate. I have not yet had my flu shot. (Unless you count today's cauliflower.)

4. Tomorrow I have a dental appointment and may need someone to distract me from my anxiety by exposing me to something I fear even more and lowering a tarantula onto my face during the procedure.

5. Just kidding, don't do number 4 unless you have a defibrillator handy.

Just one person say it sounds like I have a case of the Mondays...!!

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